Ok these stamps are garbage lol!! Day 85
Oct 2, 2018
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pj9MCpMbCGc

[Music]
good morning you guys
welcome to Monday morning yes we are on
our way to take me to counseling we're a
little bit behind but that's a typical
for Monday mornings anyways so we are on
our way right now to take me there and
then all he's gonna run around and run
some errands and stuff but as soon as I
get out of counseling I will be right in
the way of him turning I want you to
come with you guys again in a little bit
and see how the session went hey guys so
I am just now getting back my baby's
made me and daddy stop at the store to
get them ice cream
I am waiting I'm gonna heat up some of
the lentil soup for lunch today for
myself because therapy went really
really really good today we talked
there's some changes going on in
dynamics with her practice that she is
doing so I think we are discussing that
because I have been doing so well I have
been technically I have been in her care
for a year and a half and I feel like I
have grown so much I feel like I am at a
really good place in my life right now
with the tools that I have already
gained from being her client and things
like that that I think we have decided
that possibly starting November 1st I'm
gonna go from seeing her four times a
week to seeing our top four
times a week sorry four times a month
every Monday - every other Monday so I'd
be seeing her twice a month I am really
excited I'm I'm excited for this chapter
of life I think because I think that
everybody that goes to therapy and
counseling and stuff I think you get to
a point in life where you have to decide
you know where you where you technically
where you typically started to where you
are at a certain time and you know there
are people that go to therapy for life
you know and there are people that go to
therapy for a month it's not you can't
measure what timeframe year and put
yourself on for therapy but like we had
discussed last week with me and her but
you want to see yourself improving and
you want to see yourself continuing to
grow and so with that you know with the
conversation we had today and with the
changes of her practice and stuff we're
kind of at a fork in the road do I need
to still have her for two to four times
a month do I think that I'm at a point
in my life where I can be with her twice
a month so we have some more discussing
to do and of course me and only have
some discussing to do and figure out
what we want to do from that point but
it was a very very good session I'm
continuing to see progress with my
speaking where when somebody brings
something to my attention that I feel
the that I feel like I am comfortable
enough to speak up and say hey
you know okay put your bowl in that in
moments before good job you know that I
can feel comfortable and confident that
I can speak up and say hey you know this
is bothering me or you know I really I
think that you know this situation is
making me feel uncomfortable but before
I would never do that I would never say
that nor would I ever go in that
direction because of fear of hurting
somebody or disappointing and now I've
gotten such good amount of oh you don't
want to be on camera today it boys that
you know when I'm in an uncomfortable
situation usually I run like I will run
the opposite direction so I don't have
to face it head-on but now with my with
my tools that I have gotten from therapy
I believe has gotten me to where I am
today where I can successfully say I can
handle going twice a week or twice a
month and I'm gonna be okay
so I I don't know I'm just it's all a
big change it's all part of you know
again talking about seasons of life you
know there's seasons of life where
things there's seasons of life there's
times where things you know are
happening times when things are not you
know and it's all part of growth and
it's all that's what life is it's the
life circle so anyways I just want to
check in with you guys I think I'm gonna
go it's 11:50 so I'm gonna go lay down
for a little bit I'm just extremely
tired I don't know if
can even look at and just see it in my
face I just feel trained anyways I don't
know if you guys can see it in my face
but I am so tired and I don't know why I
slept a great night but I don't know I
hope that my doctor can do this test and
figure out what is going on because I
clearly can't continue to be so tired
because it is anyways I hope you guys
are having a wonderful start to your
guyses Monday and the great start to
your week I will check in with you guys
in just a little bit after I wake up
from a little mouth hey guys excuse the
fact that uh you're not on my tripod and
you're gonna clearly hurt my kids
because they don't like they need to
leave my area ever um I got he's in the
mill today I got him from wish I have
first when I got him I opened up the
package and I'm like what is this and it
says classic this bullet set on it
anyways this is classic so looking at
him I still could not figure out what
these things were so I decided to get a
wine come on to wish and see where we're
like where in the world these things
came from because I surely had no idea
well come to find out and figure out
what they're from they're for your wings
they're a wing Stamper so we're gonna
try this together because ya can't do
something without you guys first
I've no idea how this is gonna work out
I do have my wait white wet wipes and
I'm just using my that worked well put
it over cheek to see if it was gonna
come off
[Music]
coconut oil takes it off really good
like makeup I seriously thought about
just buying like the regular ads like
the cotton pad ones and dipping it into
coconut oil and seeing if that would
work better
hey oh I thought I heard one you guys oh
I'm fine I don't know about you okay
clearly this is a no-go because I mean
for me I can just go straight in now but
that's me doing it myself so I think our
better bet is to stick with Amy doing
her own because from this one to this
one I think there's a big difference
well you guys yes welcome to Monday
night as you all just see me a little
bit ago on life oh I love lives I really
do
I don't know honestly why I don't do
more of them in fact you would think I
would but I think I'm going to start
trying to do at least I don't know
should I do one live a month or one live
a week what would you guys like you guys
tell me like I said this is your guys's
channel you tell me what you want me to
do and I will just follow in the
footsteps um but yeah I really I I do
know that I need to start doing more
life
so those are something I'm gonna
definitely start working towards because
I really I really like doing them I like
being able to you know get involved with
you guys and talk with you guys and
answer questions and all of that you
know I think those things are always so
important and so yeah that's what I'm
thinking but let me know like what you
guys were thinking are you guys warning
once a month
why is my thing so Oh cuz somebody
turned in my tripod was all twisted
probably my son I'm sure anyways um but
let me know what what works more for you
guys would you rather me just do one
life a month and that'd be when we do
the drawing because I think what I'm
gonna start doing I was just talking to
ollie about it so with my DIYs what I'm
gonna start doing is that will be the
giveaway one of the DIYs will be yeah I
said alright DIY so catch myself saying
it wrong sometimes but once a month I
will pick one of the DIYs that I make
and make that my giveaway so I'm really
truly truly truly excited because I
think that it would be really fun or
another thing is because I will have
four different DIYs because I'm gonna be
doing them weekly
I'm thinking maybe then whoever's name
is drawn can choose which DIY they want
we'll see about that I don't know I'm
not exactly sure how we're gonna work
that out but we'll figure it out it's
gonna definitely be fun and it'll be
something worth sticking around and I'm
trying to participate in because I think
it'll be a lot of fun for everybody
anyways so today was a really good day
like I was saying on live earlier
I am really really really still
struggling with my fatigue miss I have
really good days and then I have
extremely hard days and my hard days are
when I just can't seem to keep my eyes
open and I just want to sleep all day I
feel like I hadn't slept in four days
and then I get those bounces of energy
where it's just like I can I feel like I
can face the world I can go to you know
the stores I can go and you know I do
really good on my vlogging and I just
there's a lot of highs and a really a
lot of lows lately with my my fatigue
Ness so when I was on live I brought
that up in Claudia one of our community
friends said that she suffers with
thyroid problems and that is one of the
things that she said would you know that
he could happen if you're not being on
meds which at this point I'm not being
medicated because we're just in the
beginnings of figuring something out is
wrong with it but we don't know exactly
what yet um
and I won't know for at least another I
think it's like four weeks because he
said I want to say it's four weeks
because I have like a five week um
recheck on my anxiety meds that he put
me on my mood stabilizers so not really
sure yet about that part but I just I do
I have really high good days and then I
just have these low days where I am just
dragging in like today I slept from 1:40
in the afternoon until 4:40 like that
long of a nap I could not keep my eyes
open I could not for the life of me and
those are days that I have to make sure
that Ali's home because I will just pass
out right there with the kids present
plain I'll just pass out and that's not
safe you know because they're into this
let's play with my water our water
machine so we get one of those machines
that they deliver the water to us every
month and it has the hot and cold thing
which they can't turn on the hot they've
never been
my stupid alarm went over this here oh
my god I wasn't awake I'm awake now oh
my gosh today is just been a day um
anyways as I was saying they have yet to
figure out how to turn on the hot water
when and I pray that they don't and if
they do for some reason there's a switch
on the bottom of our machine that we can
literally shut it off and they can no
hot water shuts off so it's not that
it's they know how to turn on the cold
water one and we have been having
puddles of water everywhere because
these children don't stop with the water
so anyways I'm just like takin a bath
mom oh no they won't they just they look
at me like you've lost yourself do you
think we're gonna lay down for five
minutes but just were did taken out
today though that's how I fell asleep
because she cuddled up to me and I was
just like when she cuddles to me that's
the end of it
me and her out she's my snuggle bear'
and it's like you know when you have
your when you're a child you have your
little teddy bear your one special stuff
dad well that you have to sleep with
every night in order to get to sleep
that's me and her we have each other and
that's how we fall asleep in each others
arms but anyways so yeah I'm hoping that
I will get this straightened out though
because I really need my days back to
where I just feel like I've got some
actual energy and I can actually conquer
something I'm getting back on track with
my nutritionist she had been in
transition herself she left the place
where I have been going and she opened
up her own practice and so it was just a
whole bunch of trying to get everything
squared away and you know trying to get
adjusted and stuff and so we just
actually touched base finally in of last
week and so I'm trying to make an
appointment with her so I can go in to
see her
I'm truly excited to see her she hasn't
not seen me since I've lost 60 pounds so
I am really excited to to see her
um and what else I think that was really
it I just it was a really low-key day
though it would just really really was
there wasn't a whole lot going on
because I just have been so exhausted
and tonight we're just having basically
repeat of last night except instead of a
sandwich I'm gonna do a burger but it's
like on a flat bread bagel and so it
makes it for a nice little hamburger and
I'm gonna have soup on the side so that
is exciting and I wanted to talk about
I'm going to be collaborating with
another channel I am very very very very
excited me and this youtuber sorta say
have become so close and she is like a
sister that I a sister from another
mister but no she's we talk every day
and she's such a sweetheart and she's
really putting so much effort into her
channel and I believe that her channel
should grow it should be like out there
she does the most amazing cooking I just
she has a little bit of everything she
does a lot of lives like a lot of life
so if you wanna like if you look oh my
gosh it's okay if you like a lot of
lives but definitely need to like her
channel because she does a lot of lives
um but she is just she's a definite
sweetheart so I wanted to call her name
out and see if you guys want to jump
over and check her channel out she's
very involved on our channel for our
community and she
just she's an amazing person I would
love to bring our channels much closer
because she's just awesome like that
like she truly is amazing and her name
is chef wannabes life I will put her
channel link in the description I'm also
gonna write it right here some and her
real name is Chris she is absolutely
beautiful woman inside and out
and I would love to see if anybody could
just jump over and give her a little
thumbs up and subscribe button click and
you guys will enjoy her she's a she's a
doll she really is um but anyways I just
wanted to reach in my hand out to her
today she's she's had a little bit of an
interesting day today and my heart
definitely goes out to her so keep her
in your thoughts and prayers if you
could and yeah definitely if you wanna a
good friend she's an amazing woman
and I would love for her to gain many
many many new friends cuz she needs them
and she deserves them and she's worthy
enough of it just like all of us are so
anyways you guys I'm gonna close here
because I am gonna go and jump in the
shower and relax for a few minutes
before it's during time and then it's
get the kids in the bath night I hate
that night but anyways you guys take
care I hope you guys enjoyed my live I
hope you guys enjoyed enjoyed the vlog
today the winner for the Breast Cancer
Awareness wreath was biker babe so
please contact me within 24 hours so I
can get your address and get the wreath
out to you I am so excited you were able
to win this gift and again like I said
I'm gonna start having monthly giveaways
which
is gonna be extremely exciting so I
there's just so many things up in store
for this whole community for all of us I
just can't wait to share with you guys
everything that I've got in store so
anyways without I'm going to close here
I will check in with you guys again
tomorrow morning
until then sweet dreams bye bye what in
the world is this you guys this is the
second one we have found some what you
do win get in the moment
Oh oh yeah show me some movement
